Cover of Rock Bottom Girl

5. It’s a girthy standalone. That’s right. You don’t have to read 17 books before this one. There’s no commitment! It’s a once and done trip to small-town central Pennsylvania.

4. Jake and Marley are almost 40. Which means they’re good at sex and things like paying bills and navigating professional relationships. Sure, they’ve still got problems. Jake has never been in a committed relationship that lasted longer than a few orgasms. And Marley is still looking for her place in the world. But together, they make 38 look pretty damn good. Especially since they’re high school teachers and deal with teenagers all day.

3. I’m not going to call this an ugly duckling to swan story (there is an actual swan in Rock Bottom Girl), but there is a pretty great makeover. In fact, Marley’s entire character arc is an inside out makeover. And there’s a scene at Ulta that would make a great music montage.

2. It’s funny. Like really, really funny. Here are a few of my favorite snippets:

“I had rebelled and complained and limped my way through the minefields of popularity, academic achievements, and athletic accomplishment. None of those had I any actual personal experience with.”

“I couldn’t think of anything in this world that could compete with the feel of Jake’s palms on my boobs. Not a litter of golden retriever puppies. Not world peace. Not even triple chocolate fudge brownies with ice cream.”

“The Eighth Wonder of the World: Jake Weston’s Erect Penis.”

“I was buried inside Marley Cicero and trying my hardest not to explode. I thought about Homer and my grandma. Homer eating my grandma’s broccoli casserole at Thanksgiving. I thought about the gas bill I’d left laying on a flat surface somewhere in the house. Anything but the woman under me, around me. Damn it. I was thinking about her again. I could feel my pulse in the tip of my dick and knew I was one jerky thrust away from coming so hard my fillings would pop out.”

Numero Uno: This is a fake relationship that starts with a meet-puke, a girls soccer team, a rescue dog, a perfect sister, and the bad boy from high school. Oh and a high school nemesis who only got meaner with age. Did I mention the best bonus epilogue I’ve ever written? Two words: Wedding. Day.

If you’re thinking this book sounds like your cuppa tea, check it out on Amazon, my friends!