I love New Years in the same way that I love makeover movies. It’s a NEW BEGINNING, GUYS! We can be anyone we want to be this year, do anything we want to do, smell any way we want to smell in 2017, because we’re metaphorically shaking off the shackles of 2016 and taking stock of our lives.
I took the last two weeks off of writing—and anything else that resembles working or providing a positive contribution to society—and started to think about how far off the rails I went in 2016. My little train car not only went off the rails, it rolled end over end, spontaneously combusting into a fiery pyre on top of a bunch of poorly placed gas cans. But I digress… and exaggerate.
Don’t get me wrong, 2016 was a beautiful year with many good things in it. It also left most of us feeling mentally violated at least four times a day. Combine a world gone mad with three ridiculously optimistic deadlines and I was a disorganized, crazy person by the end of it.
Which brings me to my New Year Makeover, or what I like to call “I Swear I’ll Do Better This Year.”
I’ve spent the last year luxuriating in the fact that I no longer have an office job to get up and put on pants and leave the house for. It’s great. It’s fabulous. I haven’t been this well-rested EVER in my life. What’s the problem? I putz around like a sloth under the guise of “checking my email” and “catching up on Facebook.” That putzing usually carries me right up until 3 p.m. when I haven’t written a word or taken a shower or accomplished anything else that is a socially acceptable form of adulthood.
I had planned to learn to meditate. I had wanted to get up every morning and work out. And the mornings that I did do those two things, I felt GOOD. Centered. Awake. Productive. But it’s so easy to talk myself into grabbing a cup of coffee and sitting down with my laptop for “just a few minutes” first. That ends now.
I will establish a morning routine that gets me out of bed at a not embarrassing hour AND starts my day in line with my priorities (the health and kick-ass writing priorities, not the coffee and putzing ones).
Be more present
Or present at all. Seriously any amount of presence is going to be a huge improvement over my current state of “Huh?” I’m going to put my damn phone down. I’m going to stare deeply into Mr. Lucy’s eyes when he talks to me. I’m going to give distractions the finger. I’m going to see, hear, smell, taste, and touch my way through 2017 instead of bumping around in a digital fog.
I’m going to pay attention to the person in front of me rather than the dozen on social media or text.
I’m going to murder anxiety
I waste a quantifiably huge amount of time regretting any number of things I’ve done/haven’t done and worrying about the million things that haven’t happened YET, but might at any moment.
Me: OMG! What if everyone just stops buying my books? What happens if my books start sucking and people stop telling their friends to read them? What if my income just evaporates and I HAVE TO MOVE INTO A CARDBOARD BOX IN MY FRIEND LORI’S DRIVEWAY? SHE LIVES ON A HILL!
I’ve failed a lot, or as Mr. Lucy prefers to call it “falling down.” And falling down still scares me, but what’s important is that every time I’ve fallen down, I’ve gotten back up. There’s no reason to think that in 2017 I’ll just take the next tumble and decide to curl into the fetal position forever. That would be the ultimate stupidness.
Every time that shitty little doubt-filled voice starts running its dirty (and not in the good way) mouth I’m going to do whatever’s necessary to stop it.
Not-So-Lofty Plans for 2017
- Lose the back fat that’s escaping my sports bras
- Buy less disgusting kitchen towels
- Eat more sushi
- Pet more dogs
- Run a 27-minute 5k
- Stop slouching like a vulture
- Stop leaving loads of laundry in the washer for three days
That’s my I Swear I’ll Do Better plan for 2017. What are your plans for this year?